just remember

just remember that
the next time you love someone
with all your heart mind and soul
so much you would gladly
give your life for them
you know
with a love as big as the universe

just remember
they may think that it's funny

nov. 19 1995

she doesn't like committing adultery
it's against her religion
so she steals her husbands clothes
and makes her lover wear them
then
and this is the tricky part
she tells him to screw really poorly
just like her husband would do
eventually he gets really upset
and says
if you really feel that way
then why don't you just fuck him
she is outrages
and replies
i knew you would say something like that

july 1 1993

we sit on the boardwalk
fairly drunk
and watch the people walk by
i have a loaf of bread
i break off pieces
and throw it at them
now i know
you are not supposed to feed the humans
because they might decide to stick around
and not fly south for the winter
but what the fuck
it's fun 

april 18 1992

so there i was preaching to these homeless people
when one of the more pentecostal of the group
began to scream at me
that i was leading all these poor fuckers to hell
and that he wasn't very happy about it
anyway
the lady beside him
began to scream herself
something about cutting his cock off
if he didn't shut the fuck up
                                               
...and all  i could think of was       
finally
an honest church service

the conversation...march 27 2013

there are some people
more than you can imagine actually
it does not matter what has happened to you
your dr. could have just said
you got six months to live
whatever
regardless
some how
some way
they will make the conversation
about themselves

bigfoot...march 29 2013

just remember this
if you ever see bigfoot
and decide to tell all your friends about it
from that day onward
behind your back
you will not be referred to
by your name
(whatever that may be)
but by..."that crazy dick
who went into the woods
and hallucinated
and did god knows what else
sexually and otherwise
to some poor unsuspecting animal
or human
or both at the same time"

just something to think about   

the movie theater...april 1 2013

thank you for coming
to our movie theater
in case your testicles
are somehow  removed
please go to our snack bar
for reattachment
in case of a holocaust
of any type
or some fucking dil-do shows up
with a gun and proceeds to
blow people away
please go to our snack bar
and if you want any snacks
you guessed it
the snack bar