conversation

next time you talk to someone
remember
the content means sweet fuck all
all they care about is that
you look good saying it
other people sitting around agree
there is something in it for them
and you think they are a
very swell individual

fuck , any two of these
and they will believe just about anything

rafa and rafa

it was the day after the french open 2012
i was walking down the street
thinking of the final competition
i said to myself
"fuck , that rafa nadal can fucking play tennis
un-fucking-believable"
as the words (literally) crossed my mind
a dog barked
and then ran in my general direction
i said to its master
"what's his name???"
she replied :"rafa"  
 i said :"you mean , like in rafa nadel"
she said :"that's who he's named after"

and her and i have been friends to this very day  

may 19 1986

what i like best about the evangelist
is his 1500 dollar suit
and the fact that , by now ,
he has fucked every girl in the congregation
you know
it creates a mystery
like
when in the fuck is he
going to get caught
and how good of a liar is he going to be
and who is going to give a shit
besides the guys
doing the exact same thing
face it
hypocrisy is the common bond
that keeps the church together

the price of alcohol

if my penis
could go up
like the price of alcohol
i would be
the happiest feller
in this galaxy
and the one
that is destined to hit us
in two billion years time
(it's not their fault ) 

my father and the pittsburgh steelers

super bowl sunday
a few years ago
in the presence of his beloved wife
my father took a gun
and blew his brains all over the room
this could have been very sad and tragic
but i tried to see the bright side
the inherent joke
within the darkness
that is to say
when people ask me why he did it
i just tell them
that he didn't like the pittsburgh steelers

todays generation

am i envious of todays generation  ???
if by envious you mean
i am truly convinced that the poor fuckers
got suckered into a raw deal
without anyone even asking them
for their opinion 
then , yes
i am completely  envious

working through shit

this little child
is on his knees
in humility and true love
he says
"lord , teach me the burden
of unanswered prayer"

suddenly
he hears this smug cackle
in the distance
and a voice that replies
"is there any other kind???"