Thursday, May 23, 2013

an ode to chronic masturbation

when i was a boy
i thought
that if i could catch
another child masturbating
and drag him in front of
the meanest kids in school
so they could all
shit all over him
that would mean
that i wasn't a masturbator
anymore

so i did
and i felt really weird
but then god came down and spoke to me
he said
"the catholics have been trying that crap
for centuries
and it didn't work
for them either"   

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