the scariest monster

what do all monsters have in common  ???
give up ???
they try to control us
using fear and other such wonderful crap
...and  what do all people have in common
you know , besides jesus
and his " chosen few "
simple
they try to control us too
the only difference
they lie or try to be polite about it

monsters are so much more honest
than humans

hiring this kid...

so this kid comes to
a job interview at my work
i say :
"are you ambitious ???"
he says
"i sure as shit am
in fact
i just screwed your wife
on my way over here
now you can't get any more ambitious
than that , can you ??? " 

"no , i guess not "

the exhibitionist

so the exhibitionist
sued the complainers
for voyeurism
and made a cool
million dollars

now that's what i call
justice 

...for all you homosexauls...

a bible verse for all
you homosexuals out there
to reaffirm your place
in the universe :

"it is not what you
put into your mouth
that makes you unclean" 

...feel better now ??? 

an ode to communication

ask someone a question
get their answer
then place a new question
in front of their answer
and go and tell their friends about it

self esteem

the best way
to develop self esteem
is to hire a private detective
and get some shit
on everyone around you
it is a hell of a lot easier
than learning to love yourself 
and you can't blackmail yourself

don't believe in bigfoot

so you don't believe in bigfoot ???
o.k.
let's get this straight
bigfoot
jumped out of the forest
shoved his 28 inch penis
directly up your behind
grabbed you by the neck
walked you to the local supermarket
bought you
a box of chocolates
and made you eat every last fucking one
yet , still
you don't believe in him 

how about the loch ness monster ???